It’s all too much. I’ve been so strong. I’ve bared this weight for too fucking long. I need to get out, I need to escape. It’s like I’m trapped in my own head, lost in my mind deeper and deeper. I want to escape. Get me out. I’m losing grip on myself, I feel I’m fading away. Trapped in my past, I’m fucking losing myself. All I want is to forget everything. I want to get out, I want to separate myself from all of the things I have done, but I cannot sleep, I try to feel - I can’t feel anything. No faith can help, no higher power can fix the pressure caving in my chest. The bottom of the bottle gives me some relief, have another drink so I can feel alive. Waking up with the taste of alcohol and regret lingering behind. I don’t remember how I got here, all I know is I need more. I hate that I love it. I hate that I need it. My wallet is empty and so am I. I’ll do anything to feel alive. My hands are shaking, cold sweat, desperation, and he’s walking alone on these empty streets.
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